Mid Life

When we talk about Midlife we talk about Midlife Crisis, but midlife is not just about the crisis, There are many great things about it.

For me personally, I am not worried whether the glass is half empty or full, what is important for me is “what’s inside it” 😉

The phrase “midlife crisis” was first coined by the Canadian psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques in 1965 when he was 48.

Mid Life crisis can hit anytime between 30’s to 60’s and can involve anyone.

With men, the mid-life crisis hit when they begin to analyse their growth, achievements, success on the professional & financial front.

For women Mid-life crisis strike with judgment on their professional life post motherhood, physical appearance & changes, feeling less desirable, relationships with their close ones ,changing roles plus what is in store with them once their nest is empty and the frustration of ageing process.

Generally the feeling of “not having achieved much “with passing time is what bothers people. The feeling of not being loved or the feeling of falling in love again, longing for adventure in life or to have the same enthusiasm back, puts people in despair.

Middle age is not the beginning of the decline, but a time to reach for the highest in our selves. Middle age is a pause to re-examine what we have done and what we will do in the future. This is the time to give birth to our power.” 
Frank Natale

For me, this phase of life is a Mid-Life TRANSITION, a time to re-evaluate and reassess or to take a stock of my life so far, a reappraisal, a learning period to change myself for what I want to do next. Time to follow up with my concerns be it health,sex,love or professional life. It’s a temporary insanity in disguise, which I want to enjoy.

I would suggest you too should feel absolutely OKAY with this transition of life and deal with it, in a relaxed manner and find opportunities in this chaos.

Here’s how:

  • Consider this as a beginning of a new phase. Chalk out your plans, make a list of your unachieved dreams and desires & hit on to them. You are more sensible now to achieve them, turn your passions into reality.
  • Talk it through with your closest ones. Share what is bothering you and find a way out.
  • Get out of your regular routine. The world won’t stop functioning if you leave your home. Step out do things that make you feel content and challenged.
  • Take charge of your body. A healthy body is a great morale booster. Don’t ignore your physical appearance. Dress up,wear makeup & step out of the house with a bright smile.
  • Trust yourself. You are not the only one going through this transition. All your friends and knows are also going through the same. Compliment yourself for having the sensibility to evaluate your life and work towards it.
  • Stop worrying obsessively about everything happening in your life.
  • Channelize your energies on your strengths instead of regrets. Bygone are bygones. Look forward to things in life rather than looking back.
  • Wear your sports shoes and step out. Get fit. Breathe that fresh air and let all the heaviness get out of your mind.

Not to confront with your own self on this transition can lead to feelings of anger,hurt,depression,low self-esteem or sadness.

Embrace this midlife with a smile.You are fortunate to experience it.

As you did not avoid adolescence, midlife is inevitable too and there is no one particular way of spending it. There is only YOUR way. Embracing it gracefully will show your sign of maturity. Celebrate EVERYTHING that midlife has to offer.

Take the load off yourself. Be Patient and Kind to yourself. Be Fabulous

embrace-the-change

 

 

Allow yourself the LOVE you Deserve

“So many years of education yet nobody ever taught us how to love ourselves and why it is so important”

I’m certain you must have read this a number of times that “We should first love ourselves “. Still, it is most dumped thought till date.

Do you remember the last time you pampered yourself with a full body massage or a visit to a spa or maybe just spending the whole day doing exactly what you wanted to do for a long long time?

Am sure you don’t! And the reason possibly is that you are too busy playing a mother ,wife or a daughter in law’s role, so hard ,that in this entire process you have forgotten your own self.

I, for sure, did forget how it is to love my own self. It’s now that I am developing the practice of giving myself the priority. Because I realize that only if I will love myself will I be able to share the same love with my family and friends.

Most of us will not love ourselves until we lose a certain amount of weight, get the desired money, achieve that perfect job, experience improved relationships with our close ones and the list is long.

We often put conditions to love ourselves and gradually we get into the habit of ignoring our own selves.

“WE are the victim of the beliefs we live by”

(to be honest)Life actually is a journey of self-exploration. It’ isn’t selfish to love ourselves,to give time to ourselves.

The moment you practice self-love you will definitely see a change in your relationship with others, a great amount of positivity and a happy state of mind & body.

love-urself

               Here are some practical ways you can learn to love yourself instead of living on the idea of other people loving you.

  • Take your relationship with your own self to a higher level. Do it with pleasure and love!

You have earned it all this while. You have been multi-tasking for years ,ignoring your own self. Get into the habit of loving yourself only then will you be able to share this love and care with your people around.

  • If you are not going to love yourself today you will never love and pamper yourself tomorrow or the day after.

You will have the same excuse always.

  • Take care about how you look, (yeah yeah! We all know about beauty being skin deep)  I’m not talking about taking care in a superficial manner but in the manner that you feel confident about yourself when you step out of the home.

If pampering yourself works with you, get a hot water bath, visit to a spa or get a facial. Love your body; it’s only one you have.

  • Take a step towards leading a happy guilt free life. Don’t forget YOU are magnificent & no one on this earth is like you. Nurture yourself with love and care.
  • Don’t even try to fit into someone else’s shoes. Everyone is going through their own share of battles.
  • Stop looking for approvals and acceptance from others. Focus on acceptance of self-flaws and work on yourself. Let go off your mistakes, learn from them.
  • Calm your mind. Breathe out all the negative thoughts that hurt you and put you down.
  • Loosen up! You don’t need to take every situation and challenge in life too seriously. Learn to laugh it off.

Choose to love yourself; you have a right to an awesome life. Be more passionate. Let self-love, self-compassion, and hope flow.

You are your own beautiful version in this ONEderful life. Enjoy every bit of it.

And remember:  “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”: Gautam Buddha

 

Healthy Aging

As I get ready to hit my forties, I know and understand that there are health challenges women of my age face from exceeding waistlines, slowing of metabolism, and the greying of hair, to dark circles, eye bags, and wrinkles. Some of these are inevitable even if we are getting better with our habits and nutrition as compared to what we were in our thirties or earlier. But the fact is, we women end up going to the doctor only when we are not able to handle our medical problem, in the same manner, we start exercising only when our body stops responding naturally in a healthy manner.

It’s time we learn to take care of our body and mind!
A healthy diet, along with exercise and an active mind is, in my opinion, the keys to healthy aging. Nowadays, diet and exercise are getting a lot of attention. Which is great and it does help in a great way, but I think it’s very important to include “exercising the mind”. A mind that is not used, just like a body that is not exercised, will become flabby and useless. As children leave home, and the work around the home becomes less, a woman needs to find outlets for her mind. Reading, exercising, visiting a friend, a body massage, browsing  the internet, etc. are all great ways to exercise the mind and body.
Try doing your bit every day with what your circumstances allow you to do, because the daily grind is in face riding you.

Simply PAUSE, and take the friction from the grind out for a moment. Go take a walk, run, do yoga, sit in a park, find a quiet spot near a water fountain, have a coffee all by yourself and see how relaxed and recharged you can be!photo-1444011283387-7b0f76371f12
If you are like me, cribbing about how little personal time there is, start waking up early 15 minutes before everyone else wakes up! Enjoy your tea or coffee, make notes, write down what you are thankful for, enjoy the morning air, and see how blissful it is.
Finding time for yourself is very important for healthy maturing! This year I went for Vipassana (a ten-day silent meditation course) leaving behind my 7-year-old son and husband. That solitude for 10 days gave me a great opportunity to take a stock of my life. Meditation for 5 to 10 minutes every day helps us to de-stress and improves our focus and concentration, plus it will be a crucial part of our transformation in maturing gracefully!

Improving your eating habits is also a big factor in maturing gracefully, as 80% is your diet and only 20% is the workout. A rational balance needs to be struck between both.
Stop treating yourself as the least important! Give priority to yourself! Cultivate a passion, take up a sport. Dress up, do your makeup, and don’t wait for a special occasion to feel good about yourself. If it is sarees, then wear them in a charming manner, if its suits, be your own designer and stand out amongst the crowd.

Feeling good, body and mind, will make a lot of difference in how you live in these transitioning years. Make the most of it.

Stay Fabulous Stay Healthy 🙂