I am not CRAZY I am mourning the loss of my Dog

My 5 month old puppy” CARBON” passed away around midnight and I could not trace the reasons behind it.This came as the biggest shock as he was one of the most active pug puppy I had ever seen.

I am in bits.

He was done with all his vaccinations, I would give him his baths regularly, brush him daily, wipe his face with wet wipes after every meal and did every possible thing to take care of him,in fact would tell my friends I feel I have become a mum for the second time.

I realized I was crying harder than I had in years, my grief was so intense, it felt as if a part of me had been taken out and torn away.I cried in fits and jerks,and was so heartbroken.I still am ,nothing will ever replace his unconditional love.

I took all his toys, balls and his CAR (which he was most fond of) kept them in the drawer safely. I was so frantically crying, my domestic help quickly removed his eating bowls and his other belongings so that I could not see any.

I kept flipping through his crazy pictures of every occasion and videos, and I am still trying to get used to a TOO QUIET and a TOO clean home.

I feel all of a sudden the days are so longer and evenings are so dull.He would keep me busy all the time and I was learning so much from him on how to loosen up and just live in the moment.

I was learning how to let go and just enjoy every small thing that life offered,I was still in the learning process before he left .

My life will never be the same as a part of me left with “Carbon”.

To love a dog is to truly know the meaning of unconditional love. With them is a deep relationship and it doesn’t carry the baggage that human relationships carry.”Carbon” being a 5 month old puppy one day came and licked my tears and that day my bond with him grew far stronger. We became such wonderful friends,from that day onwards his sloppy kisses never stopped,and me being his Mamma he would always be with me just like my shadow .

I had enough support from my family and friends who could really understand my pain and loss. Everyone did give me that time to grief.And I strongly believe that everyone should be given enough time to grieve without any judgement.

In the back of our minds, some believe that they shouldn’t be grieving so much for a pet, which is made worse by the  cultural stigma associated with grief and losing our companion animals.The worst thing you can hear is ”it was only a dog,you can always get another one” I strongly recommend to avoid people with such an attitude.

The truth is, the strongest thing I can do is to allow myself the space to cry, to process my emotions, to experience the pain which means that the connection we shared was real, strong & unconditional.

And I do believe that the amount of love, affection and companionship that Carbon gave me in these 5 months, is certainly worth my grieving.

Those memories will always be there, They’ll never fade.I am still cherishing the warm and funny memories we created.

Rest In Peace my precious little Carbon.And finally breathe and play like you used to.

                       All I can ask from god is to give him his little car to play with.