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Fabulously 40

Fabulously 40 is a platform by women for women, to share our journey together, to rediscover ourselves, redefine style and grace, wisdom and wonder, exuberance and enthusiasm in our own special ways.

And we want to do it all with YOU.

This blog is dedicated to women over forty, with the goal of providing ideas and resources on how to celebrate the maturing season we are in. Women at any age want to feel their inner and outer beauty. It makes us who we are. But sometimes, somewhere we lose ourselves.

Though pressured by society to recede in a certain manner because of our age, we at Fabulously 40 want to speak out against the false pretense that we have outgrown our beauty. We seek to show society and the fashion industry that there is beauty in women of all ages, shapes, and sizes. We hope you find inspiration on these pages from other women who are forty and above, as they share tips on how to have our own unique dressing style, live physically healthy, deal with mid-life crises, and encourage you to live the life of our own choice.

This blog is for us to rediscover our lost pathways, to answer any question, any doubt, any achievement, anything that you may want a solution, a resolution or even a riposte, too!

Have a question? Want to travel? Need a shoulder to lean on? Wonder which shade of lipstick will dazzle your smile? Where to you go to heal yourself? Need a pat on your back for something lovely you did? Need to get in touch with yourself? Write to us, reach out and we will connect.

Let’s get together on this platform and change the way we feel, let’s support each other, support our environment and rediscover ourselves.

Our convictions

Our buoyancy

Our hope

Our faith

Our lives

So come along on this voyage of discovery and let us shine, together. Let’s explore and pamper ourselves as we find life begins at 40!

I am not CRAZY I am mourning the loss of my Dog

My 5 month old puppy” CARBON” passed away around midnight and I could not trace the reasons behind it.This came as the biggest shock as he was one of the most active pug puppy I had ever seen.

I am in bits.

He was done with all his vaccinations, I would give him his baths regularly, brush him daily, wipe his face with wet wipes after every meal and did every possible thing to take care of him,in fact would tell my friends I feel I have become a mum for the second time.

IMG_0931I realized I was crying harder than I had in years, my grief was so intense, it felt as if a part of me had been taken out and torn away.I cried in fits and jerks,and was so heartbroken.I still am ,nothing will ever replace his unconditional love.

I took all his toys, balls and his CAR (which he was most fond of) kept them in the drawer safely. I was so frantically crying, my domestic help quickly removed his eating bowls and his other belongings so that I could not see any.

I kept flipping through his crazy pictures of every occasion and videos, and I am still trying to get used to a TOO QUIET and a TOO clean home.

I feel all of a sudden the days are so longer and evenings are so dull.He would keep me busy all the time and I was learning so much from him on how to loosen up and just live in the moment.

I was learning how to let go and just enjoy every small thing that life offered,I was still in the learning process before he left .

My life will never be the same as a part of me left with “Carbon”.IMG_0090

To love a dog is to truly know the meaning of unconditional love. With them is a deep relationship and it doesn’t carry the baggage that human relationships carry.”Carbon” being a 5 month old puppy one day came and licked my tears and that day my bond with him grew far stronger. We became such wonderful friends,from that day onwards his sloppy kisses never stopped,and me being his Mamma he would always be with me just like my shadow .

I had enough support from my family and friends who could really understand my pain and loss. Everyone did give me that time to grief.And I strongly believe that everyone should be given enough time to grieve without any judgement.

In the back of our minds, some believe that they shouldn’t be grieving so much for a pet, which is made worse by the  cultural stigma associated with grief and losing our companion animals.The worst thing you can hear is ”it was only a dog,you can always get another one” I strongly recommend to avoid people with such an attitude.

The truth is, the strongest thing I can do is to allow myself the space to cry, to process my emotions, to experience the pain which means that the connection we shared was real, strong & unconditional.

And I do believe that the amount of love, affection and companionship that Carbon gave me in these 5 months, is certainly worth my grieving.

Those memories will always be there, They’ll never fade.I am still cherishing the warm and funny memories we created.

Rest In Peace my precious little Carbon.And finally breathe and play like you used to.

                       All I can ask from god is to give him his little car to play with.IMG_4033

Don’t let your mind bully your body …. LOVE IT!

Half the time I have looked myself in the mirror and thought “I hate my tummy”, “how I wish I had great hair” “oh my extra sensitive skin”!!

Innumerable times I have bullied my body & kept myself from feeling my best. It’s not that my body had these issues, it’s just the way my mind was feeding me.

Thanks to wisdom flowing in with time, I now don’t let my mind bully my body.

We’ve all been there- we’ve had some terrible thoughts about ourselves. How much we ate, how we look, feeling like we didn’t do an adequate amount of exercise today. We have bashed our bodies mostly because we saw some airbrushed models or celebrity images on social media without realising those pictures are “retouched” to define cheekbones, smooth out skin, remove fat, and lengthen limbs—to name a few.

The thing is it’s normal to have these thoughts about our own selves, like i am not tongue-tied to accept the fact that I’m not a bot sitting behind this screen and telling you that every notion that passes through my head is a positive one- because that’s so not true.

Sometimes they’re pretty repulsive. Sometimes my fears are all over the place and my brain just feels like it’s going to blow up.

Truth is most of us look outward to see beauty, We have these incredibly high expectations of ourselves, and in the due course we develop too much of self doubt, do a lot of negative self talk and start believing everything that we think.body

In reaction to this our body hears and feels our stress.

The negative inner chat demotivates us and depresses our mind.

Nevertheless there is always a way to twist something negative into something positive- it all has to do with our frame of mind!

  • Concentrate on fuelling your body with nourishing food and positive self-talk. Make food your friend. So eat what you love and do so in a way that makes your body feel happy, not crappy.
  • Stopping the negative self-talk is the first step in learning to appreciate who you really are.
  • Work out because you love your body, not because you hate it.
  • Make an extra effort to feel good about your own self every day. A number is just a number, a size is just a size, it shouldn’t make you sad and pull you down because a number doesn’t defines your self worth, stop the self-harm, stop the cycles ofself sabotage.
  • Get mindful of what isn’t working. Become aware of what thoughts, situations, and people prompt your body bully to scream at you. Is it social media or a friend who always complains about her body? Its not easy to evade such situations and people from your life, but you can be in charge of how much time and energy you spend on them.
  • Be happy with your own self; don’t wish to be like someone. The fire in us must burn brightly than the fire around us.
  • You have the power to not let your mind bully your body, and to not let the negative thoughts you have control you and dictate how you live your life. Start embracing your beautiful body. Remember, it’s the only one you’ve got
  • Practise Self Love.

To wrap it up, you are the BEST version of YOU, find true happiness within yourself.images

Bring on the body love and put it into practice when you look in the mirror.

LOVE AND APPRECIATE THE SKIN YOU’RE IN.

Be Body positive and don’t let you mind bully your body.

Head up, Gorgeous!

 

On path of emotional self reliance

I have no qualms about admitting that for years I was always craving emotionally. Not in an insane desperate manner, but just the way most of us do (I guess so)

I always wanted someone to be around me to make me happy, feel loved and wanted to fulfil my emotional needs through others, be it husband, friends, family anyone.

There is no harm in it though to accept our humanness.Emotional needs and insecurities are all part of human nature even if we don’t want to accept them personally or publically.

Since we are kids our parents take care of all our emotional needs, love, comfort support etc and that is why we never develop the habit of emotional self-reliance.

Because I was emotionally so dependent on my relationships, I was going through a lot of problems. As all my expectations were from people in my life and I was not seeking beyond my expectations of love, happiness, support, reassurance.

I would feel horrible if I would not be included or was cut out from things which we had been doing together, could not take the void in my life and was always looking for distractions, was always on my phone even when I would be alone and the list was long.

Actually, the whole job on my behalf was to accept myself, good or ugly all of it. Since this realisation struck in, I took significant steps on the practice of self-reliance and this positively changed my life.

Not that I am a completely changed person but am definitely getting better to what I was, as now I was not expecting to be perfect or have a perfect life and relationships.

Self reliance started when I completely started believing that Happiness is not outside me, its within me”.

  • Learnt to fix my own problems- had to accept that can’t expect every time my friends and family will stand by me & help me get out of it.
  • If I was bored- went to a dance class or for a run, took up some craft activity, but stopped expecting from my people to keep me entertained all the time.
  • If I was lonely and hurt- started comforting myself, worked out on the equations, but stopped expecting that my friends and family will come and reassure me every time.Infact started reassuring my own self.
  • Stopped being reliant on my family and friends for solutions to problems in my life- Started taking responsibility for things on my own.

We need to accept the fact that nothing lasts forever. The sooner we accept it the better for our self-development. Accept the fact that people come and people go, there will be always phases in your life where you will be all alone, friends disappoint but don’t blame, try to be your own best friend and vent it out to your own self.

We very quickly get attached to people, things, memories, but we do need to realise that we will lose them one day. Once we have this acceptance  then only we can appreciate what we have in our life.beach-1737038_960_720

Build your own happiness. The most intimate relationship is the relationship with the self. Build and plough this relationship. Spend time on your own, doing things you enjoy, spend time with yourself and look for the pleasure of your own company. This will set a foundation for inner balance. Focus on your assets than your objects of insecurities; this will lead to a higher self-esteem.

Adopt the attitude of a passenger who tries to make the most out of every single minute of his travel.

When you do that, you’re not only self-reliant but also appreciative of life.

Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.

Not being attached does not mean we don’t love our family and friends but we should not get dependent on them for our social, emotional and spiritual well being. It definitely means not to attach yourself to the inorganic and materialistic things in life.

  •  Learn to like your own noise.
  • Get to know yourself.
  • Not the person you’d like to be, or the person you longed you were, and not the person you deceive yourself into believing you are, but the real you.
  • Meet head-on the “bad” “worse” you first. List your weakness, know your limitations, and know what you dislike.
  • Be honest with yourself. Accept the fact that life is not a competition, and the only one you have to make happy is you. Only when you are happy with yourself, you will be happy with someone else!
  • Fall in love with love.Trust yourself.
  • Get a mirror and smile into it. Navigate through your feelings and thoughts.

It requires practice. And once you develop this practice you will be liberated in a beautiful world of self-confidence and assurance.5712669523_300d605eb2

 

 

Adopting hobbies

When one of my guests asked me “so what are your hobbies”? I was quite for some time and just kept rolling my eyes, I actually had no answer.

Like really? I seriously have no hobbies?

There was a time in my life where I would have been able to answer that question in seconds.When we were growing up our free time was spent in pursuing our favourite hobbies, we all did stuff as kids but mostly stopped when adulthood got into the way.

Whatever reflection we choose to present to the world, we all have our hidden passions.

Most of us lose ourselves in marriage, motherhood, professional life or social obligations that we gradually start fading away from ourselves, our interests and our passions without even realising that it is happening.

exercise-969300_960_720“I am inclined into fitness,” I answered eventually, but the answer felt synthetic, like something I’d say in a job interview. I mean, I wasn’t lying. I do love to keep myself fit. But in reality, I knew how much time I was giving to my fitness regime.

So what was I into? How was I spending my free time?

The answer in all probability won’t amaze you:

Social media has taken over my free time and my creative side has gone way to low.

I used to think that hobbies are just a way to kill time but now with time, I am realising that having a hobby you are passionate about can give you a great amount of motivation, satisfaction and direction.

Actually, hobbies are good for our overall health and well-being in many ways. We tend to lose our self, forget about time, and come back feeling different.

In my city itself, I have seen many women who have explored their own style of cultivating pleasure.

  1. This friend of mine gets up at 5 am to jog as she is into marathons, for absolute joy of it, and comes back home before her daughter is even up for school.
  2. Another friend after sending her kids off to school teaches Zumba and has discovered a passionate way for keeping herself and others fit.
  3. This friend with two little ones and a hotel to take care of still takes time out to do custom bridal wear as that’s her passion.
  4. My sister every day takes out one hour from her super busy schedule to do her mosaic to bust the work stress.

Our hobbies are typically what we do with “Our Time” and committing ourselves to this our time helps us unwind and loosen up completely, giving us the energy to hit the ground again.guitar-1942771_960_720

There are so many advantages to having an authentic, real-world hobby.Apparently, any physical or sport related hobby is going to make you fit and healthier in general. But hobbies have many psychological and emotional benefits as well.

Whenever we are spending our time in any hobby we’re in that state of “flow” when time flies, and we’re completely present with the activity. This “flow” state actually reduces stress and provides a great sense of well-being and contentment.

Also, any hobby that involves some level of challenge or concentration will improve your mental strength. Hobbies shape our personalities, energise, inspire and connect us with other like-minded people. They often end up giving our life its meaning and bring great joy and peace so, it’s worth the time we are investing in it.

If you don’t have a hobby now, or if you haven’t practised it in a long time, Discover now and you will discover your truest self. Know your gifts and talents. What is it that you love to do or really been wanting to do?

Make a plan to integrate hobbies into your life. Keep some time each week, whatever works for you and stick to it.  Make an effort to try new things.

sportsSo if you thinking “what about me”? As a kid, I loved playing badminton and basketball. Lately, I’ve been looking for a way to get to exercise and get out into the outdoors (well, at least our local park), so I’ve recently started biking and plan to do it regularly. So this not only helps me to keep myself fit but also is a fun activity which I can do with my friends.

So now let me ask you: What are you into? What’s your hobby?

I brave you to think about the things that make you unwind. The things you keep saying you want to practise “when you have more time.”

The bottom line is: It doesn’t really matter what you choose to do, as long as it’s something you love, which taps your creativity and lets u loosen up.

Give yourself the time to be drawn into something.

And UNWIND!

Rowa by Ruchi

We all have our passions and we generally choose to follow our passions when we think we can justify our time and put in all our efforts into it and just want to feel happy. Some of us write, some draw, some sing, dance, or some bake.

Rowa by Ruchi offers a huge variety of hand painted silk scarves which is again a passion turned into reality.

Ruchi as creative and enthusiastic as ever always had this passion for working with watercolours that developed into painting silk scarves that give the watercolour painting effect on her work.IMG_8424

It all started with my colossal love for scarves. They have always defined my individual style, and have always been my much-loved “mood maker”. Says Ruchi

Started in May 2014, Rowa means a  lovely vision which is a Persian word.

Rowa offers unique artistic hand painted silk scarves, silk wraps and silk shawls.

Each piece is lovingly hand painted with a free hand which is very rare, no silk screening or manufacturing are used to create this one of a kind hand painted wearable art with no two pieces being exactly the same.

The majority of her work is nature-inspired with predominantly floral prints. Each layer has a deep personal touch as silk cannot stand carelessness and recklessness.IMG_8425

 

Every scarf that comes to life from loving hands in a labour intensive, multi-step process that takes several days, tells a story of celebration of natural, high quality and safe dyes which are friendly on skin and maintains the best luminosity of color and softness of the silk and that’s exactly how Rowa has found patronage with buyers who search for delicate and posh handmade scarves.

 

Ruchi says “My intention has always been to take the silk scarf to a new level, making it nearly a piece of jewellery that any girl can wear on a daily basis life”

The scarves are of a very light and transparent silk which makes them suitable to wear throughout the year.IMG_9389

Stylish, fresh and delicate these scarves are one of the most loved accessories that add an extra touch of elegance to both men and women casual and business attire.

These luxurious silk scarves will supplement your wardrobe with colour, shine and originality. They are awesome for travelling or elegant evening events, pocket squares or a shoulder cover up.

Please “like” Rowa by Ruchi on Facebook where you will find the latest updates and work-in-progress, plus ways to reach out to her to gift your loved ones these delicate pieces of beauty.

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Wearable art, a perfect gift of love and appreciation, a direct contact between the artist and a customer that’s my piece of beauty around my neck – Grab yours now.

Slow Down Mumma

I don’t know about you but with a 8 year old son, a blog on hand, Bed and Breakfast business and a household to look after with an added active social life and my erratic running schedules for staying healthy, a lunatic like me tries to do it all and I feel (In fact I KNOW) that since I am constantly rushing from one task to another, I can see life just zooming past me and I am missing out on a little day to day joys that come with motherhood.

I must admit that while I am there in body, sometimes my mind is already racing in advance thinking about everything else I need to do. I am on the constant go, doing certain things which matter and certain things which don’t even matter, but I am busy busy busy all the time.

My son is turning 8 this March and now it’s hitting me how fast time flies. Some days I feel I am failing at motherhood and at my jobs.

It’s true that life has gone far easier with microwaves, washing machines, cell phones, but despite these conveniences the life has gone more demanding and complex.

No doubt we’re stressed out, “The housework is never ending” “the office challenges are huge”, they come back to home with us, plus we want the BEST of everything in our life.

Whether the hitches of today is our own mistake or the price we are paying for living in the modern world, or are we just an age bracket of whiners? Whatever it is -We need to Slow Down.

It’s time I just pause, breathe in and take it easy.I need to get over the guilt of not doing justice to my own life.

  • I need to remind myself it’s absolutely fine if the room has toys everywhere.
  • It’s fine if there are dirty clothes everywhere soon he is going to shift in another room and then stay busy in his own world.dsc02488
  • Shouldn’t feel guilty if I yelled at him before he left for school, it’s normal if we lose our mind sometimes, once back cuddle them more, kiss them hard and feel OKAY!
  • It’s absolutely all right If I need a girls night or date night once a week! — Won’t ever let anyone make me feel guilty for time away from my son. I deserve it. Gonna fill my wine glass too 😉
  • Won’t feel guilty about dropping an activity, a class, a birthday party he was supposed to go to, instead will be happy that I spent that time with him.

After all as he grows up, of what he is going to remember and what is going to stay with him are the cuddles we did, the silly laughs we laughed, the way I held him, the way I helped him choose his clothes and all the bonding times, not just the picks and drops for his classes.

Want him to remember the last minute plans we made and went to park for a run or our small rides to ice cream parlours.And I want to remember the sparkle in his eyes with these tiny happy moments than the heavy heart of just doing the routine stuff.

I know I’m not the only mum facing this. We’re worn out, burned out, and sick. It shouldn’t be this way, and that’s not what motherhood is all about. We’re just trying to do too much of everything, and that’s why we’re not doing anything well.

So all Mamma’s out there SLOW DOWN.

Enjoy these mad moments full of love.

Enjoy the muddy clothes.

Enjoy the cuddles and baby fragrances; HUG them tight before they start running away from you.

Childhood is not here to stay; this time will fly away in the blink of an eye.

So hold the hands of your little ones and just STAY. Live the moment, even if it’s just for a few minutes every day. Let’s not get jammed up in the chaos of life. Let’s enjoy these sweet days while we can. Because they’ll be gone before we know it.

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