Featured

Fabulously 40

Advertisements

Get out of the Habit of Habit

We all have our set routines and we love them. (at least I do) because it brings a lot of ease in our life.

Working from home has got me used to a fixed lifestyle where I am moving at my own pace and comfort.

Most of these habits revolve around me, like working out at a specific time, taking naps during the day, drinking tea at all odd hours, sitting on my side of the bed (just in case if anyone sits on my side of bed and they don’t budge, I will keep standing till the other person leaves my place: D) and many more which comprise of stagnant living.

So many times I end up saying NO to my friends for lunches or dinners because my routine gets hassled up or the timings don’t fit into my work and home routine

Thank god my friends don’t ask me much but just tell me to reach at a certain place at a certain time and I have to push myself to step out “breaking my routine”.

Our natural habits are surely very helpful for us like switching off the lights before leaving the room, washing hands before meals, opening muddy shoes outside the house, giving way for the ambulance etc but some of our habits can imprison us in our own little world & disconnect us from reality.images

Many times because of our routines we do push away a lot many exciting events, exchange of great ideas or just spending that relaxed time with friends.

I gained some self-insight and identified how stuck I am in my set lifestyle, now I am shaking things up and breaking out of my much-adopted habits and routine.

Am learning to:

  • Give up control: With giving up control of how I have always done things I am now learning to create space for new ideas and am adopting a more receptive outlook.
  • Looking out for the unusual: I have now started forcing my mind to adapt things which I had never opted for, forcing my mind out of its tendencies.
  • Making Mistakes: As it has been said If you are not making mistakes, you are creating a big mistake. So am all set to make more and more mistakes 😉
  • Seek out for new opportunities: I am learning to push myself to gain new experiences because being in a routine will never add up to my personality but only make me more confide to my walls. Time to break the chain
  • Dorothy Rowe, world renowned psychologist said, “If you try to make everything in your life secure, what you gain in security you lose in freedom.” I am ready to experience that freedom because what happens the next minute also brings no certainty.

Undoubtedly, a routine has its own advantages, but if it seems insubstantial, may try breaking out of your habits, learn to take a plunge and try things out of your comfort zone. That’s where the actual learning begins.break

It’s time to embrace the unfamiliar. Get out of the habit of habit and dive in the unknown,; it is going to affect you and everyone around in the most positive manner.

    What habit are you willing to give up?

 

 

 

And it finally happened- My first solo trip

Two months back I got up in the morning and put on a brave face and told my husband I want to take a solo trip, he instead of asking me further any questions told me “take out your passport will get the paperwork done”..

He started getting my paperwork sorted, much to his dismay I can’t read maps at all, still he showed huge trust in my decision, whereas in my heart I was so so terrified. Will I be able to do it? How am I going to survive in countries I don’t know the language? How will I eat all by myself in a restaurant? How will I figure my ways out? How will I manage sightseeing? How will I figure out which place to see and which place to skip and the questions were innumerable taking away the sleep out of my system.

The decision to travel solo was not focused by the aspirations to “discover myself ” or to give myself any “My Time” rather to go beyond my comfort zone and prove to myself that I could travel to some spot of the world all by myself and experience things which I wasn’t familiar with.

To keep my spirits high my friends met up for coffees, lunches and dinners pepping me up all the while and finally it did happen.

My husband drove me to the airport and as I hugged him he said “just relax I am right here if any help is needed” and his words gave me a lot of strength.

As I walked through security my heart somewhere was still heavy. Once I had the boarding pass in my hand the feeling of doubt and fear was replaced by confidence and “just go do it” feeling.

I recently got back from my 12 day solo trip which included stops in Prague, Vienna and Budapest. This was the first trip I went on where I was actually on my own. And I’m really glad I did it.

Landed in a country where no signs were in English & I didn’t speak their language, it was totally up to me to figure out the place.

Honestly can’t say I always took the most accurate routes to discover the city because I am someone who can fail Google maps also: P, but still I did figure out the routes mostly on my own else would ask for help from locals or tourists around.

Can never forget the second day while waiting for my dinner in a local Czech restaurant a family of 5 Australians were sitting next to me looking inquisitively at me and finally the gentleman asked “are u travelling solo”? The moment I said YES they were like come join us for dinner! And that broke so many of my inhibitions, all of a sudden I felt so light in my heart and we had those endless conversations on our dinner table.

IMG_5734By the time I left the enchanting Prague, I could make my ways around much better than I had when I arrived — and that was a really a rewarding feeling.

When I reached the Prague central railway station to board the train to Vienna it wasn’t less than a task, as the platform number pops up on the screens only 10 minutes before the arrival of the train and a place where nothing is mentioned in English, I had this sinking feeling that I am going to miss it.

But that’s the beauty of travelling, “The compassion of strangers will open up a fraction of your heart that you had no idea existed. As a solo traveller you’ll experience the very best the world has to offer”…. With people guiding me I made my way to the platform and boarded for “Vienna”, the place which took my heart away.

The moment I stepped out of the Vienna train station I stood on the cobblestones and watched my breath freeze mid –air. This place was so pretty so unreal.

I was totally in control of my trip now was taking risks, was so not worried about my travel choices wrong or right as they were completely mine and I knew they were not affecting anyone.

I was going up to locals to talk, asking them to click photos for me, eating in restaurants like a pro and that too with an all together different sense of confidence. Proving to myself time over time that I can handle it and that feeling really build me up.

IMG_6096The off beaten paths that led to small coffee houses, authentic Wien restaurants, wonderful architecture so so European, took my heart away. I fell in love with this city and was just not ready to leave it but couldn’t wait for Budapest as my friend from London was joining me there.

The magic of travelling solo was working amazingly well and felt the whole universe is working at its best to make my travel memorable.

My friend came one day before to surprise me and that crazy feeling of meeting an old trusted friend was out of the world.

Walking on the cobbled streets, sitting in cafes, at piazza, those mad laughters, going for a high tea, pubs everything was coming to an end and I was still not ready to go back.

It’s been said that travelling unaccompanied is something you should do at least once in your lifetime. It tests you, pushes you beyond your comfort zone and in doing so helps you become more well-rounded and mature.

The best thing about taking a trip alone is that it not only boosts your confidence but makes you strong and independent. There is always a transformation in the personality about an individual post the trip. Doing everything alone in a new city among a completely different background of people is no small feat and finding your way out through everything boosts your confidence a top notch higher. Since, you have to do all the navigation and handling problems alone, you will get better in doing things alone, later on.

FullSizeRenderAnd guess what? You’ll do it! You may not think you’re capable of to handle all the issues that happen, but you’ll surprise yourself. Because when you’re forced to, you’ll achieve anything and everything.

I was ready for some quality time with people I knew who spoke my language. I returned a different person, a re-energized spirit with a completely fresh perspective altogether. Travelling can open a whole new alternative on how you view yourself and the world.

I encourage everyone to try it – no matter their age. I hope you take the trip of your dreams.

In advance Happy travels and yayy to solo travels!!

Has solo travel changed your life? Are you thinking of hitting the road all by yourself? I’d love to hear in the comments below!

I am not CRAZY I am mourning the loss of my Dog

My 5 month old puppy” CARBON” passed away around midnight and I could not trace the reasons behind it.This came as the biggest shock as he was one of the most active pug puppy I had ever seen.

I am in bits.

He was done with all his vaccinations, I would give him his baths regularly, brush him daily, wipe his face with wet wipes after every meal and did every possible thing to take care of him,in fact would tell my friends I feel I have become a mum for the second time.

IMG_0931I realized I was crying harder than I had in years, my grief was so intense, it felt as if a part of me had been taken out and torn away.I cried in fits and jerks,and was so heartbroken.I still am ,nothing will ever replace his unconditional love.

I took all his toys, balls and his CAR (which he was most fond of) kept them in the drawer safely. I was so frantically crying, my domestic help quickly removed his eating bowls and his other belongings so that I could not see any.

I kept flipping through his crazy pictures of every occasion and videos, and I am still trying to get used to a TOO QUIET and a TOO clean home.

I feel all of a sudden the days are so longer and evenings are so dull.He would keep me busy all the time and I was learning so much from him on how to loosen up and just live in the moment.

I was learning how to let go and just enjoy every small thing that life offered,I was still in the learning process before he left .

My life will never be the same as a part of me left with “Carbon”.IMG_0090

To love a dog is to truly know the meaning of unconditional love. With them is a deep relationship and it doesn’t carry the baggage that human relationships carry.”Carbon” being a 5 month old puppy one day came and licked my tears and that day my bond with him grew far stronger. We became such wonderful friends,from that day onwards his sloppy kisses never stopped,and me being his Mamma he would always be with me just like my shadow .

I had enough support from my family and friends who could really understand my pain and loss. Everyone did give me that time to grief.And I strongly believe that everyone should be given enough time to grieve without any judgement.

In the back of our minds, some believe that they shouldn’t be grieving so much for a pet, which is made worse by the  cultural stigma associated with grief and losing our companion animals.The worst thing you can hear is ”it was only a dog,you can always get another one” I strongly recommend to avoid people with such an attitude.

The truth is, the strongest thing I can do is to allow myself the space to cry, to process my emotions, to experience the pain which means that the connection we shared was real, strong & unconditional.

And I do believe that the amount of love, affection and companionship that Carbon gave me in these 5 months, is certainly worth my grieving.

Those memories will always be there, They’ll never fade.I am still cherishing the warm and funny memories we created.

Rest In Peace my precious little Carbon.And finally breathe and play like you used to.

                       All I can ask from god is to give him his little car to play with.IMG_4033

Don’t let your mind bully your body …. LOVE IT!

Half the time I have looked myself in the mirror and thought “I hate my tummy”, “how I wish I had great hair” “oh my extra sensitive skin”!!

Innumerable times I have bullied my body & kept myself from feeling my best. It’s not that my body had these issues, it’s just the way my mind was feeding me.

Thanks to wisdom flowing in with time, I now don’t let my mind bully my body.

We’ve all been there- we’ve had some terrible thoughts about ourselves. How much we ate, how we look, feeling like we didn’t do an adequate amount of exercise today. We have bashed our bodies mostly because we saw some airbrushed models or celebrity images on social media without realising those pictures are “retouched” to define cheekbones, smooth out skin, remove fat, and lengthen limbs—to name a few.

The thing is it’s normal to have these thoughts about our own selves, like i am not tongue-tied to accept the fact that I’m not a bot sitting behind this screen and telling you that every notion that passes through my head is a positive one- because that’s so not true.

Sometimes they’re pretty repulsive. Sometimes my fears are all over the place and my brain just feels like it’s going to blow up.

Truth is most of us look outward to see beauty, We have these incredibly high expectations of ourselves, and in the due course we develop too much of self doubt, do a lot of negative self talk and start believing everything that we think.body

In reaction to this our body hears and feels our stress.

The negative inner chat demotivates us and depresses our mind.

Nevertheless there is always a way to twist something negative into something positive- it all has to do with our frame of mind!

  • Concentrate on fuelling your body with nourishing food and positive self-talk. Make food your friend. So eat what you love and do so in a way that makes your body feel happy, not crappy.
  • Stopping the negative self-talk is the first step in learning to appreciate who you really are.
  • Work out because you love your body, not because you hate it.
  • Make an extra effort to feel good about your own self every day. A number is just a number, a size is just a size, it shouldn’t make you sad and pull you down because a number doesn’t defines your self worth, stop the self-harm, stop the cycles ofself sabotage.
  • Get mindful of what isn’t working. Become aware of what thoughts, situations, and people prompt your body bully to scream at you. Is it social media or a friend who always complains about her body? Its not easy to evade such situations and people from your life, but you can be in charge of how much time and energy you spend on them.
  • Be happy with your own self; don’t wish to be like someone. The fire in us must burn brightly than the fire around us.
  • You have the power to not let your mind bully your body, and to not let the negative thoughts you have control you and dictate how you live your life. Start embracing your beautiful body. Remember, it’s the only one you’ve got
  • Practise Self Love.

To wrap it up, you are the BEST version of YOU, find true happiness within yourself.images

Bring on the body love and put it into practice when you look in the mirror.

LOVE AND APPRECIATE THE SKIN YOU’RE IN.

Be Body positive and don’t let you mind bully your body.

Head up, Gorgeous!

 

On path of emotional self reliance

I have no qualms about admitting that for years I was always craving emotionally. Not in an insane desperate manner, but just the way most of us do (I guess so)

I always wanted someone to be around me to make me happy, feel loved and wanted to fulfil my emotional needs through others, be it husband, friends, family anyone.

There is no harm in it though to accept our humanness.Emotional needs and insecurities are all part of human nature even if we don’t want to accept them personally or publically.

Since we are kids our parents take care of all our emotional needs, love, comfort support etc and that is why we never develop the habit of emotional self-reliance.

Because I was emotionally so dependent on my relationships, I was going through a lot of problems. As all my expectations were from people in my life and I was not seeking beyond my expectations of love, happiness, support, reassurance.

I would feel horrible if I would not be included or was cut out from things which we had been doing together, could not take the void in my life and was always looking for distractions, was always on my phone even when I would be alone and the list was long.

Actually, the whole job on my behalf was to accept myself, good or ugly all of it. Since this realisation struck in, I took significant steps on the practice of self-reliance and this positively changed my life.

Not that I am a completely changed person but am definitely getting better to what I was, as now I was not expecting to be perfect or have a perfect life and relationships.

Self reliance started when I completely started believing that Happiness is not outside me, its within me”.

  • Learnt to fix my own problems- had to accept that can’t expect every time my friends and family will stand by me & help me get out of it.
  • If I was bored- went to a dance class or for a run, took up some craft activity, but stopped expecting from my people to keep me entertained all the time.
  • If I was lonely and hurt- started comforting myself, worked out on the equations, but stopped expecting that my friends and family will come and reassure me every time.Infact started reassuring my own self.
  • Stopped being reliant on my family and friends for solutions to problems in my life- Started taking responsibility for things on my own.

We need to accept the fact that nothing lasts forever. The sooner we accept it the better for our self-development. Accept the fact that people come and people go, there will be always phases in your life where you will be all alone, friends disappoint but don’t blame, try to be your own best friend and vent it out to your own self.

We very quickly get attached to people, things, memories, but we do need to realise that we will lose them one day. Once we have this acceptance  then only we can appreciate what we have in our life.beach-1737038_960_720

Build your own happiness. The most intimate relationship is the relationship with the self. Build and plough this relationship. Spend time on your own, doing things you enjoy, spend time with yourself and look for the pleasure of your own company. This will set a foundation for inner balance. Focus on your assets than your objects of insecurities; this will lead to a higher self-esteem.

Adopt the attitude of a passenger who tries to make the most out of every single minute of his travel.

When you do that, you’re not only self-reliant but also appreciative of life.

Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.

Not being attached does not mean we don’t love our family and friends but we should not get dependent on them for our social, emotional and spiritual well being. It definitely means not to attach yourself to the inorganic and materialistic things in life.

  •  Learn to like your own noise.
  • Get to know yourself.
  • Not the person you’d like to be, or the person you longed you were, and not the person you deceive yourself into believing you are, but the real you.
  • Meet head-on the “bad” “worse” you first. List your weakness, know your limitations, and know what you dislike.
  • Be honest with yourself. Accept the fact that life is not a competition, and the only one you have to make happy is you. Only when you are happy with yourself, you will be happy with someone else!
  • Fall in love with love.Trust yourself.
  • Get a mirror and smile into it. Navigate through your feelings and thoughts.

It requires practice. And once you develop this practice you will be liberated in a beautiful world of self-confidence and assurance.5712669523_300d605eb2